"People have asked me, "So what's it like being married to a cop?" Do you know all of the cops and judges in the county? Do you get the inside scoop on the local trials? Do you get to run background checks on all of your friends and neighbors?"
Well...No, no, no, and NO!
But I will tel you what it REALLY is like to be married to a cop...
It's getting used to his swing shift schedule.
It's getting your kids used to his swing shift schedule.
It's spending weekends without him.
It's expecting him to be home at 2am then waking up at 3am and realizing that he's not home. Calling him to make sure he's okay and not being able to reach him. Panicking. Then finally hearing from him that he's okay...that he was dealing with a suicidal gunman...that he'll be home when he can...then trying to fall back asleep.
It's taking comfort in knowing that he works in a small department, where things don't get to exciting...until they do.
It's moving Christmas to the 23rd so he can see the kids open their gifts on "Christmas Morning".
It's spending Thanksgiving and New Year's Day, 4th of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day and all those special days that most families get to spend together without him.
It's sometimes spending those special days at his station in between calls.
It's going to family functions without him, even if it's with his family.
It's trying to explain to those who don't' understand why he doesn't come around.
It's hearing people question the strength of your marriage when he is never around.
It's sometimes sleeping alone and most of the time waking up alone.
It's putting things on hold.
It's hoping you will beat the odds of a "police marriage" when 78% of them fail, but understanding why they do.
It's helping him cope with a Chief who's forgotten what it's like to be a patrol office.
It's keeping the kids quiet during the day and explaining to them why Daddy sleeps when they don't.
It's being excited that you get to spend a day off with him...and finding out he has court or overtime or that his schedule has been changed again.
It's watching friends get together without the kids, when you just can't.
It's hearing about a fallen office and being sad while silently rejoicing that it wasn't him.
It's knowing that you are safe at home while it's raining, or storming, or snowing while he has to be out in the elements.
It's resisting the urge to barrage him with complaints about him, or the kids, or the house, or work...Because he has enough on his plate already.
It's FOP meetings, Association meetings, departmental meetings, All of which seem to occur when he's supposed to be off.
It's realizing the he's never really "off".
It's trying to not make him feel guilty about these things because you know he already does.
It's realizing how precious the time you have together really is because most the time, he's awake while you're asleep or asleep while your're awake, or somewhere in between. Rare are the days that you are actually on the same schedule. Yes, it's all of these things. Despite this all, it is also wonderful. Knowing what he does for this world...for the community...for our families...for our children. It is worth is.
~ Dorothy Ague
4 comments:
So proud to be your friend. :)
I watched my mom walk thru similar things (The insane schedule and doing everything alone part, not the dangerous job part!) when dad’s head was in school and work full time for so many years. Way to embrace the good the bad and the ugly. I cannot imagine. I think, in your own way, you help protect this county by just loving Luke so he can do a great job. :) Thanks for posting this quote. What a great articulation and window into the worlds of so many brave husbands and wives. Loves.
Wow, you sure are a trooper girl!!
Nicole I was just thinking the other day how many people have to deal with shift work. I certainly don't want to pity myself. I remember when your dad was going through school and then starting his new job. Your mom was amazing! I never heard her complain. I think about her often. :)
Vanessa you are too. :) You know I actually prefer shift work to the 9-5 schedule. I like having Luke home in the middle of the week. I do get a little sad when I can't join in events like the women's retreat or Seder Dinner ect. It's a life full of adventure though.
...that was Kimi not Luke
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