Week 7, Day 2 - Should Have Kissed Him

Luke Update:
Got a call Sunday night at around midnight. It was Luke asking me if I new where his ballistics vest was. As I stumbled over our condo looking for it and wondering how on earth does one lose a bullet-proof vest I couldn't help but laugh. I'm up at midnight looking for a bullet-proof vest. Awesome. He eventually found it in a classroom and I still don't know how someone misplaces something that big. We are over a quarter of the way through! I can definitely see the weariness starting to creep into his eyes and he keeps losing weight: 27 pounds so far. He loves the classes that cover anything drug related and he takes full advantage of any additional defensive tactics training. He shot a 475 at the range today. The highest is 500 and passing is 350. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous of him. I always wanted to be a cop growing up. I guess I kinda have the best of both worlds. I can live my dream through him and be part of my other dream which is being a stay-at-home Mom.


December 31, 2007, Lynden, WA 11:57 pm
We are standing in the middle of a quiet street. There is a mist floating toward us from the golf course. The street lamps are on and almost make it feel cozy despite the cold. We are next to a white gazebo. Luke turns on his car so he can play the oldies soundtrack. Slowly we dance in the middle of the street, next to the white gazebo, to Frank Sinatra. I was fast falling in love with this man that I had just "met" two week prior. It's midnight. He gives a little smile and says:

"It's tradition to kiss the girl at midnight."

He slowly brings his head down for a kiss and instinctively I look down to avoid it. He pauses a little confused and simply kisses the top of my head instead. He drops me off at 12:30. I lie wide awake in my bed. I should have kissed him.

To this day I wish I kissed him. Especially since we haven't been able to spend New Year's Eve together
since our first one due to shift work. I wonder if I will ever be able to kiss him on New Year's right at midnight, or did I miss my one and only chance.

Week Six, Day Four

My favorite song at the moment- makes me think of Luke and myself:

"(Kissed You) Good Night" - GLORIANA

I dropped you off
Just a little after midnight
Sat in my car
Till you turned off your porch light
I should have kissed you
I should have pushed you up against the wall
I should have kissed you
Just like I wasn’t scared at all

I turned off the car
Ran through the yard
Back to your front door
Before I could knock
You turned the lock
And met me on the front porch

And I kissed you
Goodnight
And now that I’ve kissed you
It’s a good night good night baby goodnight

You couldn’t see me
Watching through the window
Wondering what went wrong
Praying that you wouldn’t go
You should have kissed me
You should have pushed me up against the wall
You should have kissed me
I was right on the edge and ready to fall

So I turned off the car
Ran through the yard
Back to your front door
Before I could knock
You turned the lock
And met me on the front porch

And I kissed you
Goodnight
And now that I’ve kissed you
It’s a good night good night baby goodnight

I turned off the car
ran through the yard
back to your front door
Half scared to death can’t catch my breath
Aren’t these the moments we live for

And I kissed you
Goodnight
And now that I’ve kissed you
It’s a good night good night baby goodnight
It’s a good night good night baby goodnight
It’s a good night good night baby goodnight
It’s a good night good night baby goodnight

Week 5, Day 4 - Just A Picture

I stole this from his phone. He'll probably make me take it down when he finds out. Even though you can't see his face and it's kinda blurry, I think he makes one good-lookin cop! I can't wait to see him in his full uniform with all his gear. Quarter of the way through!

Week 4, Day 4 - A New Life

Luke Update:
Luke and his class will be spending the next few weeks at the firing range with their guns. Last Friday they practiced drawing and firing drills. Halfway through the day their training officer threw in "cardio firing drills". Its one thing to draw and fire when you're concentrating and breathing is slow and steady, it's a whole different game when firing while out of breath with the blood pumping through you head which slows your thinking. The officer would have them sprint a mile or do 20 burbees (sp?) and then draw and fire. They also did the same type of drills when practicing handcuffing. He has a huge exam tomorrow. I looked over his notes and wow, some of the definitions of the law are confusing! He got in "trouble" for leaving his wedding ring in the gym. The TAC Officer said he had to do a "self-report" to his wife on why it was left there.


This morning found me on the floor playing with my daughter. The sun was streaming through the windows, I had coffee in my mug next to me, and a tank top and skirt on me. It may sound like a dull morning to you, but I found myself wondering:

"Does it get any better than this?"

Between sips of coffee and little baby giggles I came to this conclusion: Nope, it doesn't get better. 


My days of waking up at 4:30 and heading to the office at 5:30 are over. Company parties, department lunches, co-workers birthdays, non-stop calls, and answering hundreds of e-mails daily are no longer part of my life. I've traded it in for baby squeals and screams, spit-up covered shirts and dirty diapers, cooking, shopping, and cleaning. I cannot tell you just how big a change this is for me. I started working at age 14 and never stopped. Even while in college I took on three jobs to pay the bills. I never could imagine what it would be like to no longer have a "real job". I loved working and being part of the office dynamics and drama. It was exhilarating, entertaining, and kept me learning consistently. Not to mention, I loved the paychecks!


Now I wake up at around 7:00. I feed my daughter, get a cup of coffee, throw in a load of laundry, and play with her. What a change from before! Sometimes the stir-crazy creeps up on me and sometimes I long for the learning and adult interaction I would receive from my job. I worry that I may be losing brain cells since my only companion is a 4-month old baby. I wish I knew what was going on in my department and I hope someone is taking good care of my dear customers (especially the retired war veteran who would call me daily from Niagara Falls, NY). Even though my life is new and nothing is the same I can honestly say:


"It doesn't get any better than this"


"A baby in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, 
a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for 
innocence on earth, a link between angels and men."


 ~  Martin Fraquhar Tupper