…what it's like to fall asleep with my husband. I mean really fall asleep with him. To crawl into bed, turn off the lamp and snuggle till sleep overtakes us both. How long would we talk? Would one of us read a book in bed? Would he fall asleep first or would I? Would one of us hog the blankets? Get tangled in the sheets? Would he wake up to my sleep talking? Would I wake up to his snoring? What's it like to wake up in the morning with each other? Would we help wake each other up? Would we lie in bed and just enjoy the quietness before a busy day? See who could get to the shower first? Have a pillow fight while making the bed? Would he help me pick out my outfit for the day? Eat breakfast together? Read the morning newspaper? Do all these things while flirting, laughing, enjoying each other's company?
We've been married 10 months and due to our opposite schedules I've only fallen asleep with my husband on our honeymoon. On his nights off, he'll tuck me in and play with my hair until I fall asleep, which is as close as we get to actually falling asleep together. I remember after only being married a few days and in Mexico waking up to Luke laughing in his sleep. I thought it was the cutest thing ever and I just lay there propped up on one elbow waiting to see what he would do next. I loved the sound of his snoring. It reminded me that he was right there and that I was safe. Someday, someday I'll find out what's it's like to fall asleep with him.
To complain about this situation though would be ungrateful. God has given us both jobs and my husband get's three days off each week. Also I have conquered my fear of being left alone. All through my growing up years I was never once left completely alone at home. At first I was terrified when Luke would leave; I would even stand at the door and beg him not to go (seriously). I would lie wide awake and keep a gun near me just in case. I would say to myself over and over "Nothing will happen to me that God does not allow". Slowly but surely with Luke's help and God's promises my fear of being alone is almost obsolete. I even lie in bed with curtains pulled back so I can watch the bats come out at dusk. When coyotes came howling through the neighborhood one night I eagerly jumped out of bed to get a look. The gun is kept is a safe place now rather than on my nightstand and I peacefully drift off to sleep knowing that Luke will call me in a few hours while on his break.
How unique is it that God made our situation such so as to help me with my greatest fear. He truly does care about every aspect of our lives. Being able to see God's hand in situations that are not ideal to me is another blessing. How I can complain when God is so very good to us?
4 comments:
This is one of the most beautiful posts I have ever read. That would be a very challenging way to start a marriage, but it is encouraging to see your positive attitude and thankfulness. I hope you will be able to begin sleeping through the night together very soon! :)
Wow. That was beautiful! That would be so hard, and it's neat to see how you and Luke don't complain about it. And like Abbie, I hope that one day your work schedules will match up =)
Oh Kimi...I remember conquering the "sleeping alone" fear early in marriage also! It is truly no small feet to rest soundly when you are without your hubby...way to go! Many times off and on early in our marriage Chad had to work nights or very odd hours and this was such a struggle for me, especially in the beginning! Lots of scripture, lots of prayer, lots of hours reminding myself of God's sovereignty in every detail of my life, lots of time passed and that sweet little handgun under my pillow and I overcame my fear...ahhhh thank you Lord! I do have a very funny story of Chad coming home unexpectedly one night....I will have to share it with you someday!
Thank-you for the encouragment! I would love to hear that story sometime. Maybe we could out for coffee since it sounds like we share similar situations. I'm glad I'm not the only one who was scared of being left alone at night!
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