What it's Really Like

I found this on one of the Police Wives Forums. She put into words everyday life. I was shocked when someone questioned the strength of my marriage due to the fact Luke was "never around", but now I know that is just part of our life now. It's a journey being married to a cop, but a journey that I love!


"People have asked me, "So what's it like being married to a cop?" Do you know all of the cops and judges in the county? Do you get the inside scoop on the local trials? Do you get to run background checks on all of your friends and neighbors?"

Well...No, no, no, and NO!

But I will tel you what it REALLY is like to be married to a cop...

It's getting used to his swing shift schedule.
It's getting your kids used to his swing shift schedule.
It's spending weekends without him.
It's expecting him to be home at 2am then waking up at 3am and realizing that he's not home. Calling him to make sure he's okay and not being able to reach him. Panicking. Then finally hearing from him that he's okay...that he was dealing with a suicidal gunman...that he'll be home when he can...then trying to fall back asleep.
It's taking comfort in knowing that he works in a small department, where things don't get to exciting...until they do.
It's moving Christmas to the 23rd so he can see the kids open their gifts on "Christmas Morning".
It's spending Thanksgiving and New Year's Day, 4th of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day and all those special days that most families get to spend together without him.
It's sometimes spending those special days at his station in between calls.
It's going to family functions without him, even if it's with his family.
It's trying to explain to those who don't' understand why he doesn't come around.
It's hearing people question the strength of your marriage when he is never around.
It's sometimes sleeping alone and most of the time waking up alone.
It's putting things on hold.
It's hoping you will beat the odds of a  "police marriage" when 78% of them fail, but understanding why they do.
It's helping him cope with a Chief who's forgotten what it's like to be a patrol office.
It's keeping the kids quiet during the day and explaining to them why Daddy sleeps when they don't.
It's being excited that you get to spend a day off with him...and finding out he has court or overtime or that his schedule has been changed again.
It's watching friends get together without the kids, when you just can't.
It's hearing about a fallen office and being sad while silently rejoicing that it wasn't him.
It's knowing that you are safe at home while it's raining, or storming, or snowing while he has to be out in the elements.
It's resisting the urge to barrage him with complaints about him, or the kids, or the house, or work...Because he has enough on his plate already.
It's FOP meetings, Association meetings, departmental meetings, All of which seem to occur when he's supposed to be off.
It's realizing the he's never really "off".
It's trying to not make him feel guilty about these things because you know he already does.
It's realizing how precious the time you have together really is because most the time, he's awake while you're asleep or asleep while your're awake, or somewhere in between. Rare are the days that you are actually on the same schedule. Yes, it's all of these things. Despite this all, it is also wonderful. Knowing what he does for this world...for the community...for our families...for our children. It is worth is.

~ Dorothy Ague

What It Is

*In two weeks night shift for my officer will turn to swing shift.

*Which means I go to bed alone and wake up with a man next to me. Scandalous!

*The past 6 weeks have been the 2nd most challenging journey in my life.

*I love Luke more than I could ever hope to express.

*I'm frustrated with rules.

*More than anything I want to love God and my family and finally not care what others think.

*I would love to be able to lose weight faster. This 1 pound a week thing is getting old.

*I'm actually emotional over the fact I'm no longer nursing Summer.

*My number one prayer request for 7 years was answered 5 months ago.

*My sisters are people who I would die for without a second thought.

*I have so much to learn.

*The police scanner has been my best friend through the past six months of night shift.

*Nothing beats hearing cop stories at 6:30 am while sipping coffee. No better way to start the day as far as I'm concerned.

*I hope I can raise my girls to love Jesus and not man-made rules.

*It's been a long 3 weeks since I've been in church and I can't believe how much I miss my church family.

*Realizing that surrounding yourself with people much different than you is a good thing.

*I like having a job, but don't want it forever.

*Homeschooling is a very daunting thought.

*I could never explain just how much I appreciate my pastor, but I'll try.

*My two princesses teach me more about humility, flexibility, strength, endurance, determination, tenacity, and kindness than anything I've every experienced.

My Life

What a crazy season of life this is! In my heart and mind I feel like I belong with the teenagers doing teenage things - staying up late, parties, holding down a full time job, being crazy and carefree. I'm not a teenager anymore though. I've got to somehow remember that. I'm a Mommy to two energized babies and a wife. If I'm up later than 11:00 I'm sunk the next day. Parties mean paying for a babysitter and crazy and carefree can equal irresponsible when two precious lives are now in your charge. As for a full time job, well I have a 24/7 job. If not careful, I can find myself longing for the "good ol days" of freedom and a crazy spirit. I realized that right now, right here may be the most precious time in my life; when two new lives are mine to take care of, nurture, and train. Embracing "mommyhood" took me a while. I have always been grateful for my girls, but as far as really embracing and owning the responsibility it didn't come naturally. I like sleeping in, dates, pretty clothes, time to myself, a solid paycheck, and the ability to leave the house whenever I choose. But I'll tell you what - Nothing, nothing beats waking up at 6:00am to two different sounds on two different monitors. One is Gwendolyn saying good morning to each of her animals and the other is Summer cooing and making smacking sounds with her little baby lips. My family = My life.

It Really Does Fly

Time flies. Everyone says so, but it really does. One morning you're eating breakfast with your six siblings and the next you're cooking breakfast for your 1-year-old daughter. I used to wonder if I would ever grow up, what it would be like to be a teenager, to be a college student. Crazy how all that is behind me now. Over the past six years I feel like my life has been in super-charge mode. Let me walk you through the highlights of the past six years:

Age 20: Met a boy who was somewhat a bad boy and fell madly in love with him after our first date. 

Age 21: Graduated from college and continued dating that boy. On a clear, romantic night in early January I said "Yes" to a certain question and a beautiful diamond ring.

Age 22: Nine months later found myself saying "I do" to that same boy on a beautiful day in September.

Age 23: Blissfully uneventful as I started my new life as a married woman. We vacationed. We spent to much money. We had to much fun.

Age 24: A certain pregnancy test rocked my world in July and then I met the most wonderful girl in the world on March 1st.

Age 25: Left alone for five-months with a newborn after my husband accepted his dream job after three years of searching. We found out after his graduation that our lives were changing again with another baby girl on the way.

Age 26: In just a few days or weeks I will be a mother again and this year will be full of diapers, spit-up, butterfly kisses, sleepless nights, cuddles, and more love in my life than I ever imagined. 

Here's to growing up!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpFW4Yhy08k

Police Wife's Life

At the end of a long day I'm snuggled up with Luke in bed. I'm going on and on about hopes and dreams and I assume he is listening with all his attention. I tell him how much I love him and how proud of him I am and ask him to play with my hair. Ahhh, wedded bliss. This is good. I'm about to turn over for another kiss when suddenly my arm is yanked out from under me and twisted up behind my back. Before I could even gasp my other arm is jerked above my head and my wrists are being bent backwards. Next go my fingers. I am completely helpless. I can't move a muscle without it hurting.

"LUKE! What the HECK are you doing?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry Kimi. I'm practicing my arm bars. I can't get rusty. See if I do this you can't move and if I do it like this....."

Sigh, so much for a romantic middle-of-the-night makeout session. I just shake my head at him, but secretly I love it.

Gwendolyn Turns One!

Friday we celebrated Gwen's first birthday. It was a sweet time of just her, Luke and I and then later family and friends. As soon as we heard her waking up we went into her room and sang Happy Birthday. She had such a confused, sweet smile on her face! We started out the day at IHOP where Gwen had her first birthday breakfast complete with a kiddie size hot chocolate. After her nap we had planned on taking her to the toy store and then the dog park (dogs are her favorite thing in the world right now), but the little stinker slept way to long.

At 5:30 her party started and even though she was a bit overwhelmed with all the attention, she held up just fine. Here are a few pictures of her special day. I'll try to blog more about planning first birthdays (I let it get waaay to stressful in my head), but right now my toddler is kicking the wall meaning she is done with her morning nap!

Perspective

Early morning and you wake up peacefully. A spark in your heart, a light step, a sleepy smile. Your soul is already praising God for this brand new day-a gift to you and your loved ones. Suddenly you remember the day, the night before. The tears, the doubt, the uncertainty of the future. Just hours before when you could barely muster a smile for your precious daughter. When cooking and cleaning seemed like monumental tasks that you couldn't complete. There was crippling fear that everything you had grown used to and was secure in could be ripped from you within the day. You wonder why is there joy in me right now? Why is my heart so thankful and at peace? Why am I excited for today with no fear of what it may bring? Along with the remembered sorrow of yesterday, you also remember pouring your heart out before God. Tearfully begging Him for mercy and guidance. He reminds of you of His promises and reminds you of His faithfulness. He reminds you that in a situation so hopeless and so confusing He sees the whole picture and has a plan. That He will perfect His perfect will in you. Even though it didn't seem possible, sleep overtook and your precious Lord sent his angels to minister to your soul and you wake up with unmistakable peace from Him.

Maybe you finally get it. Get that this life is never going to fully satisfy your longings. Not circumstances, not friends, not a husband, not children, not a job, not financial security; that the life to come is where your hope lies. Thankfulness washes over you for this God-given perspective as your soul continues to rejoice in Him despite the trials in your life.

Hebrews 10:23 
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.