Week 7, Day 2 - Should Have Kissed Him

Luke Update:
Got a call Sunday night at around midnight. It was Luke asking me if I new where his ballistics vest was. As I stumbled over our condo looking for it and wondering how on earth does one lose a bullet-proof vest I couldn't help but laugh. I'm up at midnight looking for a bullet-proof vest. Awesome. He eventually found it in a classroom and I still don't know how someone misplaces something that big. We are over a quarter of the way through! I can definitely see the weariness starting to creep into his eyes and he keeps losing weight: 27 pounds so far. He loves the classes that cover anything drug related and he takes full advantage of any additional defensive tactics training. He shot a 475 at the range today. The highest is 500 and passing is 350. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous of him. I always wanted to be a cop growing up. I guess I kinda have the best of both worlds. I can live my dream through him and be part of my other dream which is being a stay-at-home Mom.


December 31, 2007, Lynden, WA 11:57 pm
We are standing in the middle of a quiet street. There is a mist floating toward us from the golf course. The street lamps are on and almost make it feel cozy despite the cold. We are next to a white gazebo. Luke turns on his car so he can play the oldies soundtrack. Slowly we dance in the middle of the street, next to the white gazebo, to Frank Sinatra. I was fast falling in love with this man that I had just "met" two week prior. It's midnight. He gives a little smile and says:

"It's tradition to kiss the girl at midnight."

He slowly brings his head down for a kiss and instinctively I look down to avoid it. He pauses a little confused and simply kisses the top of my head instead. He drops me off at 12:30. I lie wide awake in my bed. I should have kissed him.

To this day I wish I kissed him. Especially since we haven't been able to spend New Year's Eve together
since our first one due to shift work. I wonder if I will ever be able to kiss him on New Year's right at midnight, or did I miss my one and only chance.

Week Six, Day Four

My favorite song at the moment- makes me think of Luke and myself:

"(Kissed You) Good Night" - GLORIANA

I dropped you off
Just a little after midnight
Sat in my car
Till you turned off your porch light
I should have kissed you
I should have pushed you up against the wall
I should have kissed you
Just like I wasn’t scared at all

I turned off the car
Ran through the yard
Back to your front door
Before I could knock
You turned the lock
And met me on the front porch

And I kissed you
Goodnight
And now that I’ve kissed you
It’s a good night good night baby goodnight

You couldn’t see me
Watching through the window
Wondering what went wrong
Praying that you wouldn’t go
You should have kissed me
You should have pushed me up against the wall
You should have kissed me
I was right on the edge and ready to fall

So I turned off the car
Ran through the yard
Back to your front door
Before I could knock
You turned the lock
And met me on the front porch

And I kissed you
Goodnight
And now that I’ve kissed you
It’s a good night good night baby goodnight

I turned off the car
ran through the yard
back to your front door
Half scared to death can’t catch my breath
Aren’t these the moments we live for

And I kissed you
Goodnight
And now that I’ve kissed you
It’s a good night good night baby goodnight
It’s a good night good night baby goodnight
It’s a good night good night baby goodnight
It’s a good night good night baby goodnight

Week 5, Day 4 - Just A Picture

I stole this from his phone. He'll probably make me take it down when he finds out. Even though you can't see his face and it's kinda blurry, I think he makes one good-lookin cop! I can't wait to see him in his full uniform with all his gear. Quarter of the way through!

Week 4, Day 4 - A New Life

Luke Update:
Luke and his class will be spending the next few weeks at the firing range with their guns. Last Friday they practiced drawing and firing drills. Halfway through the day their training officer threw in "cardio firing drills". Its one thing to draw and fire when you're concentrating and breathing is slow and steady, it's a whole different game when firing while out of breath with the blood pumping through you head which slows your thinking. The officer would have them sprint a mile or do 20 burbees (sp?) and then draw and fire. They also did the same type of drills when practicing handcuffing. He has a huge exam tomorrow. I looked over his notes and wow, some of the definitions of the law are confusing! He got in "trouble" for leaving his wedding ring in the gym. The TAC Officer said he had to do a "self-report" to his wife on why it was left there.


This morning found me on the floor playing with my daughter. The sun was streaming through the windows, I had coffee in my mug next to me, and a tank top and skirt on me. It may sound like a dull morning to you, but I found myself wondering:

"Does it get any better than this?"

Between sips of coffee and little baby giggles I came to this conclusion: Nope, it doesn't get better. 


My days of waking up at 4:30 and heading to the office at 5:30 are over. Company parties, department lunches, co-workers birthdays, non-stop calls, and answering hundreds of e-mails daily are no longer part of my life. I've traded it in for baby squeals and screams, spit-up covered shirts and dirty diapers, cooking, shopping, and cleaning. I cannot tell you just how big a change this is for me. I started working at age 14 and never stopped. Even while in college I took on three jobs to pay the bills. I never could imagine what it would be like to no longer have a "real job". I loved working and being part of the office dynamics and drama. It was exhilarating, entertaining, and kept me learning consistently. Not to mention, I loved the paychecks!


Now I wake up at around 7:00. I feed my daughter, get a cup of coffee, throw in a load of laundry, and play with her. What a change from before! Sometimes the stir-crazy creeps up on me and sometimes I long for the learning and adult interaction I would receive from my job. I worry that I may be losing brain cells since my only companion is a 4-month old baby. I wish I knew what was going on in my department and I hope someone is taking good care of my dear customers (especially the retired war veteran who would call me daily from Niagara Falls, NY). Even though my life is new and nothing is the same I can honestly say:


"It doesn't get any better than this"


"A baby in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, 
a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for 
innocence on earth, a link between angels and men."


 ~  Martin Fraquhar Tupper

Week 2, Day 1

Luke Update: 


Aced his first test (which some of the seniors says is the hardest one), is a contender for class president (I have mixed feelings about that), and is drowning in assignments! Saturday we were up well past midnight working on papers, memos, and case studies. He lost 4 pounds the first week and weighs less than he did on our wedding day (has lost a total of 27 pounds since March). Personally I like a man who is not skinny so I am looking forward to putting some meat back on him once this is over. My favorite part of the weekend was learning the defensive tactics he was taught. If I'm ever in danger of being arrested, I have a pretty good idea of how to get away since I know what moves they're gonna use....not that I'm planning on getting arrested anytime soon. He is struggling with time management and prioritizing his projects so he will have to get a handle on that, but overall week one was a great success! It's still a long, long road in front of him though and he still has doubts that he will pass everything in order to graduate. 


Did you Know:
Bullet proof vests have an expiration date on them and,
22% of rookie cops will wear sunglasses while it is dark outside. Cool dudes ya know..


Week two is starting out much harder than week one for me. My motivation and energy is way down. It took all my will power just to throw in a load of laundry this morning. I miss him much more this week and can't wait for Friday. Gwen is my little sidekick though and we have lots to do together, but right now that little sidekick needs to take a nap!

Saying Goodbye

Day 3, Week 1 - The Wills and Will Nots

Luke Update:


Luke calls at about 5:20 every day. They have to be done with training by 5:00 otherwise Luke and the other recruits get paid overtime and none of their departments want to pay overtime. He is doing very well. He sent me pictures of his room and some of the facilities whch unfortunately I'm not allowed to post. I was surprised how spacious and nice the dorms were. According to the seniors, yesterday for the new recruits was "Hell Day" and this whole week is called "Hell Week". I was so anxious to hear from Luke to see how he survived. I asked him to tell me honestly how it was and this was his reply: "It is SO Awesome!" Enough said.


Here is my little list of the will and will nots for my summer while Luke is away:

I will make the bed every day (a habit which I let slip while Luke was on swing shift. It's hard to make a bed while there is still someone in it).

I will not neglect my nails. Luke loves it when I've taken the time to give myself a pedicure and in the Summer time when flip-flops and going barefoot are the norm, I have to make sure I keep my nails looking pristine!

I will have the kitchen completely spotless before going to sleep each night.

I will not once feel sorry for myself that I am husbandless 5 nights out of the week.

I will get 20 minutes of exercise in every day. Most of the time it will be more than this, but it will be at least this.

I will spend an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening organizing and cleaning.

I will use the same plate, cup, and utensils, throughout the day. Rinse and reuse, rinse and reuse....

I will not burden Luke with anything while he is home. For the next 5 months he needs to be completely focused and I will be just fine.

I will take care of all car maintenance from here on out. He doesn't need to spend his valuable free time changing the oil and replacing break lights.

I will show Gwen pictures of her Daddy every day and tell her how wonderful he is.

I will take a picture of Gwen each day so Luke can see the cute outfits I dress her in.

I will not neglect my hair or makeup just because my husband is gone. That is a dangerous road to go down!

I will skimp on the mascara while he gone to save a little $$.

I will not hog Luke on the weekends. I understand he will want to see his family and friends sometimes.

I will not be stressed or guilty if I fail to meet some of my goals.

I will pray Luke multiple times throughout the day.

I will thank the Lord every day that I get to be a stay-at-home Mom to my little girl and future children (more on this to come).

Day One, Week One

He's gone. Left 9:30 this morning. Gwen and I stood on the sidewalk and watched as he was about to leave our sight. True to our tradition he pulled a U-turn and headed back up the hill for one last kiss (this was a tradition started while we were engaged; we would always turn around for one last kiss). When he did finally leave our sight I headed back to the house and let myself cry 10 minutes. The 10 minutes are gone and now it's time to pick myself up, straighten the house up, and get on with Summer! The next five months will be strange for the three of us, but I'm excited for them. I have this list of goals that I have been wanting to accomplish for some time now and this is my chance! Here is my list:

Redecorate our bedroom
Visit the seniors in church weekly
Lose the baby weight!
Take a kickboxing class
Re-memorize the book of James
Start up an account at Labels so I never have to pay another $ for clothes
Learn to bake my Mom's cinnamon rolls as well as she does
Dive deep into God's Word every day rather than just checking a box saying I read my Bible
Write at least two blog posts per week so I never forget this season of life we are in

Even with my husband gone, it looks like Gwen and I are going to have a busy, fantastic Summer! I refuse to feel sorry for myself when God has blessed us so much and has given us exactly what we asked for. I praise Him for his goodness to me and my little family.